The limerick contest was a delightPoems came to me in morning and nightHere are just a fewFor which I thank youIf you feel robbed, you’re probably right.
Cooped up like a chicken in a cageSome of us driven to fits and rageI learned from a fewWho saw World War IIHumor helps get you through any age.
Apologies the page did not run last weekend as planned. It was bumped because the big breaking news story. There were thousands of submissions and I tried my best to keep on top of them. I got letters and emails from all over the country, a few from overseas and from inmates. I am so grateful for your humor and creativity.Many great ideas and poems were about being self-isolated and COVID-19, but the competition rules were for humorous poems about pets or animals because April was Humor, Poetry and Pet month wrapped into one.I wish we had a book filled with all your great work to sell, with the proceeds going to first responders during this mess. But, my time and duties for this news organization keep me busy with many other endeavors.One more note: I think we all win a little when we take time to be creative. I know it was a pleasure to read and laugh along with your submissions. Thanks again.There’s only so much space on a print page, but I’ll put more winners on our website. Remember, if your poem is not listed and you think you were robbed, you’re probably right! There could have been a hundred times more winners.National Limerick Day is May 12!
Fine rhymes
Flamingos are pink, as you knowThey like to put on quite a showWhile the crowd ahs and ohsThey return to their poseAnd continue to preen, head to toe.
– Joanne Clem
A penguin, all dressed in his suitLacks some things to look astuteA bow tie and spatsOne of those top hatsWould make him look thoroughly cute.
– Penny Beaulieu
I have a small doggy named TedWho sleeps at the head of my bedBut since he’s been toldThat my feet get real coldNow he sleeps at the bottom instead.
– Amie Montgomery
Coco’s the cat that used to be chunkyOther cats still thought he was hunkyI put him on a dietNow he can’t keep quietHe obsessively meows like a food junkie.
– Hannah Lake
The perfect pet must be the fleaI love to bounce mine on my kneeOh! He squeals with gleeBut is “he” a “she”?I must admit, it’s hard to see.
– Craig Wheeler
There once was a tabby named CaesarNever much of a people pleaserHe’d sleep on his tailThen wake up with a wailThat his tail blamed him as the squeezer.
– Lauren Clark
I always wanted to own a pet dragonSo I started beggin’, pleading and naggin’Mama resistedEven though I persistedBut yay! There’s a new dog in my wagon!
– Sue Welfringer
A canine pet sure does the trickThey cuddle, they play and they lickA good walk by the bayWith “social distance” they sayThe whole point is not to get sick.
– Cathy Jensen(part of a longer poem)
There once was a fellow named LouWho worked at a big city zooWhen feeding the lionHe thought was just sighingNow they’re looking for somebody new.
– Earl Thomas
My pet is Spot The GiraffeHer super-sized neck makes me laughI don’t worry about treesShe trims all of theseAnd reduces my yard work by half!
– Patricia Dewald
Of our fish – of all five – we are fondAt each feeding, we strengthen the bondThey don’t panic at fluBut they’re glad that we doAnd now know what it’s like in a pond.
– Portly Bard
Here I wait avoiding the plagueMy BFF Rover drooling on my legI’m trying not to shoutWe just want outhuddled by the door we beg.
– Nancy Spencer
Scout is a yellow LabradorHe’s graceful as a matadorWhile walking or prancingLike Gene Kelly dancingOur dog is anything but a bore.
– Art and Adrienne Myers
My cat no longer helps with my workFeeding him: my last remaining perkHe knows my exercise planTo stay a well-muscled manNow begins with feline clean-and-jerk.
– Bradley Swan
My doggies and I don’t get out muchWhat with COVID and rain and some suchThey’re getting too fatWon’t fit through the slatBut now I have lots more to touch.
– Jan Ramsey
Two eagles on YouTube are freeThey’ve built a huge nest we can seeThey bring up large sticksIf they stick to their tricksThey’re liable to topple the tree.
– Alan Cook
There once was a dragon named CyrusHe was most afraid of the virusHe puffed and he roaredThrough the sky he soaredHis jewel-adorned mask was priceless.
– Debby Johnson
Kitty likes her coat all cleanBut, I am under quarantineSo, upon her couch I lieHer chairs I occupyIt’s my hair, Kitty must preen.
– Joann Adams
A girl from Long Island was bitterHer birdy on Facebook had quit herBut said her canary“Social media’s scary —I’m just sticking to my own twitter.”
– Bob Niccum
My poor puppy is lately confusedFor his training is going unusedI taught him to shakeThat was a mistakeBecause handshakes must now be refused.
– Craig D. Hardwick
A piglet named Sven was quite pink‘Cause each day he got a bath in the sinkHe’d soak off the mudAnd all other crudAll the while he was sipping a drink!
– Kelly Beuth
Stuck in this COVID disasterTried to make the time move fasterFound a small kittenAnd I was smittenBut this cat thinks he’s MY master!
– Maureen de Koff
I talk to my fish but he is not keenListening to me complain of my routineHe would rather swimThan hear me talk to himWelcome to life with COVID-19!
– Daryn Desai
Our home has four furry rescuesFrom two species we got to chooseWhen the dogs get a treatThe cats come to eatAfter eating they all take a snooze.
– Vicki Reese
He’s just a neighborhood catHome is where food is atHe’s friendly enoughIf you’re serving good stuffBut after he’s done, that’s that.
– Toni Donart
I once had my social sceneThen along came COVID-19Now I’m in a rural dumpAnd I feel like a chumpBut at least my cats are serene.
– Art Hirst
Tabby bites when she’s feeling crabbyTwenty pounds of furry and flabbyShe curls on your lapFor a warm purring napYou’re soon passed out with Dear Abby.
– Diane Dorman
A bat for a pet is obsceneIt carries a critter unseenA dog or a catIs better than thatThey all have had a vaccine.
– W. Clyde Barton
As we shelter inside from this virusOur dogs pad around to admire usThey’re in a good mood(As long as there’s food)Their spirit should really inspire us.
– David Crohn(part of a longer limerick)
I dream of owning a hedgehogWho’d eat grubs from under a logBut alas he’d have spikesI’d touch him and say, yikes!Instead I’ll just get a pet dog.
– Katie Clark
There once was a dog named MartyHis appetite was quite heartyHe sure liked to schmoozeAnd chew on some shoesHe was the life of the party.
– Joan Bergeron
Our beagle is from TennesseeA puppy mill rescue was heFrom chicken coop livingTo beds quite forgivingOrange County’s where he’d rather be!
– Lynn Mickadeit(from a longer poem)
The world we know is no moreEvery day seems worse than beforeThen I look at our new puppy’s eyesStaring in wonder at the blue skiesI am sad no more, my spirits soar.
– Soumitra Sarkar
But wait there’s more! These did not make it in our print addition. This list could go on for days!
Miss Kitty is sporting a pout.
For her human no longer goes out.
Underfoot through the day,
Always blathering away,
Kitty longs for the old days, no doubt!
Ellen Raieta
My dog Jake likes to fetch his ballbut wont bring it back when i callhe runs north and southwith his ball in his mouthbut he wont return it at all
-Wyatt Smith
My dog Pickles loves riding in the car.
Some people call it the pickle jar.
Her coat is black and white.
She can run with all her might.
We are lucky the park is not that far.
-Janice Bolves
met an Irish Setter in the snow.A dog that I have often come to know.Because of its big smile,I decided to stay awhile.And together we walked to and fro.
Jim Miller
I have a calico cat,Some say she is rather fat.I call her my dove,She is my true love.Although she can act like a brat.
Colleen Cooper
My neighbor asked, “Whose dog went potty?”See, his lawn went from green plaid to spotty.”Did your dog do this?”He asked, and I hissed:”Nay, my doggie’s a Scottie.”
Joseph Grieco
A dog owner stuck quarantining
Decided to search for life’s meaning.
While scholars and mystics
Felt cold and sophistic,
Her dog’s licks felt warm and redeeming.
-Jeremy Siskind
Dough baked with sauce and some cheese,Makes a meal that is certain to please.But I went for a beer,And my dog got too near.Now my pizza is covered in fleas!
Jaimie Calhoun
My friend has a doggy quite smart.
This puppy makes begging an art.
The pup’s big brown eyes,
Would win her a prize,
Be careful, she’ll steal your heart!
-Lynn Walton
I have a fence lizard named Jake
Who naps on a rock just to bake.
One day he did rail,
When a cat snagged his tail,
Now Jake gets his heat while awake!
-Carol Proctor
Maggie’s part poodle, part shitzu.Her beady, black eyes pierce right through you.She has hair like a sheep.She snores when she sleeps.And she’d worm her way into your heart, too.
-Rachel Thaxton