Monica Geller, the Best Friend

Here’s why Monica Geller from Friends is the best at friendship.

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Transcript provided by Youtube:

00:00
“It’s like a fun game.”
00:03
We all have a favorite Friend, but in this show
00:06
about being good Friends,
00:07
do you ever think about who’s the best friend —
00:10
“I know I know I know!”
00:13
that is, the one who’s the best at friendship
00:15
and most integral to the group?
00:17
Monica Geller is the glue that holds everyone together
00:20
in Friends.
00:21
“I know!”
00:22
She’s the closest to the most of the friends.
00:24
All of the other friends know at least
00:26
one other friend through Monica.
00:28
She has a unique, direct bond with each person —
00:31
Phoebe’s her former roommate,
00:32
Rachel’s her high school friend,
00:34
Ross is her brother,
00:35
and Joey and Chandler are her neighbors
00:37
across the hall,
00:38
even though she also knows Chandler through Ross.
00:40
And she’s the hostess with the mostest
00:42
“I’m always the hostess.”
00:44
who serves up delicious meals
00:46
“They’re hot from the oven!”
00:48
in a sparkling clean setting.
00:49
So let’s look at who Monica is
00:51
and what she can teach us about
00:52
being the best of friends.
00:54
“None of the amazing things that happened to me
00:59
in the last ten years,
01:00
would’ve happened if it wasn’t for you.”
01:02
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01:19
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01:24
Now, back to Monica.
01:27
Monica’s the type A control freak of the show.
01:31
“Go, go, go!”
01:33
So a lot of Monica humor comes from
01:35
her obsession with cleanliness
01:37
and how tightly she’s wound.
01:38
“We’re supposed to start having fun in 15 minutes!”
01:41
But for the most part that intensity just shows
01:43
how much she cares.
01:45
“You’re not easy going, but you’re passionate,
01:48
and that’s good.”
01:49
Monica’s a total perfectionist,
01:50
“Now I need you to be careful and efficient.
01:53
And remember, if I’m harsh with you,
01:55
it’s only because you’re doing it wrong.”
01:57
And that extends to her social life —
01:59
“I’ve got this uncontrollable need to please people.”
02:01
She works hard to be the most supportive,
02:03
generous, and dependable friend she can.
02:05
“I have looked through a bunch of career guides,
02:08
photocopied and highlighted key passages,
02:10
and put them into alphabetical order
02:12
so you can make an informed decision.”
02:14
Monica’s an instinctive mother hen
02:16
who takes care of everyone.
02:18
She basically treats her friends like they’re guests
02:20
at a bed and breakfast.
02:21
“You’re the first guest at Hotel Monica.
02:23
You just have to tell me how you like your eggs in the morning.
02:26
I thought I’d bring them to you, you know, in bed.”
02:29
And she’s always looking out for them,
02:30
like in the pilot when she takes Rachel in,
02:32
even though they haven’t spoken in ages
02:34
and Rachel didn’t even invite Monica to her wedding.
02:37
“You’re the only person I knew who lived in the city.”
02:40
“Who wasn’t invited to the wedding.”
02:42
Monica basically hands Rachel a ready-made friend group,
02:45
and helps her adjust to being on her own.
02:47
“Come on, you can’t live off your parents your whole life.”
02:49
For the rest of the series
02:50
she keeps Rachel on track,
02:52
whether that means making sure Rachel takes care of her health
02:54
or gets her love life in order.
02:56
“Monica, you are now in charge of my love life.”
02:59
“I make your decision, and I say
03:01
you’re going to talk to him.”
03:02
Monica feeds Joey what seems like every day.
03:05
“Oh.”
03:06
And she’s a shoulder for Ross to cry on,
03:08
“Look at you, you’re shivering!”
03:10
even though he’s their parents’ favorite child
03:12
and she could just as easily resent him.
03:14
“But your brother has so many science trophies,
03:16
and plaques, and merit badges…”
03:19
In season ten Monica does all of Phoebe’s
03:21
wedding planning for free,
03:22
and she might seem totally controlling,
03:24
but she’s taken on everything herself
03:26
so that her friend can just enjoy her special day.
03:29
“I want you to be a crazy bitch again.”
03:31
Most centrally, Monica is Chandler’s best friend.
03:34
“You know if you want to cry,
03:36
that’s okay too.”
03:38
She opens the door to his first serious relationship
03:40
and teaches him that love grows out of
03:43
a really great friendship.
03:44
“You know what’s weird?”
03:45
“What?”
03:46
“This doesn’t feel weird.”
03:47
“I know.”
03:50
As we said in our Rachel video,
03:52
Rachel’s our proxy at the start.
03:54
We follow her journey to the big city
03:56
and watch her build a life from scratch.
03:58
“I’m going to go get one of those job things!”
04:01
But Rachel has also always been the pretty, popular one
04:04
and things always seem to magically fall into place for her.
04:08
“I got a job!”
04:11
Monica’s life is more relatable in some ways
04:13
because she works hard,
04:15
deserves success, and then things
04:17
still don’t happen for her.
04:19
“You can’t tell your parents you were fired,
04:21
because they’d be disappointed.”
04:23
“Uh-huh?”
04:25
“It’s not as if you have a boyfriend’s
04:28
shoulder to cry on.”
04:30
She faces her mom’s constant criticism,
04:32
“This was just in case you ‘pulled a Monica’”
04:35
her anxiety about being single,
04:36
“ls this why I don’t have a boyfriend?”
04:38
and her long-term unemployment.
04:39
“I’m no longer at my job.
04:41
I had to leave it.”
04:43
“Why?”
04:44
“Because they made me.”
04:46
“I’m unemployed and in dire need of a project.”
04:47
She’s obviously a very beautiful woman,
04:48
but doesn’t necessarily see herself that way,
04:50
and she’s still teased mercilessly about
04:53
her past weight and body issues.
04:54
“Shut up!
04:56
The camera adds ten pounds.”
04:58
“So how many cameras are actually on you?”
05:03
Monica has a crystal clear vision of the life she wants —
05:06
a good job,
05:07
“This has been, like, my dream since I got
05:09
my first easy bake oven
05:11
and opened Easy Monica’s Bakery.”
05:13
a happy marriage,
05:14
“You’re the most beautiful bride I’ve ever seen.”
05:15
and kids —
05:16
“So I asked myself, ‘What is the most important thing to me
05:19
in the world?’
05:20
And that’s when I came up with the baby plan”
05:22
and she does everything right,
05:24
but that good life always seems to be
05:25
just out of reach.
05:26
“I’m a good person, and I’m a good chef,
05:30
and I don’t deserve that marinara sauce
05:32
all over me.”
05:33
It’s no wonder Monica occasionally gets annoyed
05:36
with her charmed best friend Rachel
05:38
for stealing her thunder.
05:39
“You kind of stole my thunder.”
05:42
Later on, Rachel doesn’t even try to get pregnant,
05:45
but just happens to conceive Emma from a one-night stand
05:47
that’s conveniently with the love of her life, Ross.
05:50
Meanwhile, Monica and Chandler try for a baby
05:52
only to find out they can’t conceive.
05:54
“My uterus is an inhospitable environment.
05:57
I’ve always tried so hard to be a good hostess.”
06:00
This is a huge blow for anyone and especially for Monica,
06:04
who’s probably never wanted anything
06:06
more than to be a mother —
06:08
as we’ve seen, it’s in her bones
06:09
to mother everyone around her.
06:11
“Hey Rach, come on!
06:12
We’re gonna be late
06:13
for the eye doctor appointment!”
06:14
But Monica earns our respect by showing resilience
06:16
through all of these tough times.
06:18
“God knows.
06:19
I paid my dues.”
06:20
She always keeps her eyes on the prize,
06:23
“Yes!”
06:24
and never forgets what is really important to her.
06:26
It breaks her heart to end her relationship
06:28
with Richard in season two,
06:29
but she’s not going to give up her dream
06:31
of having a family.
06:32
“I want to have a baby.
06:34
But I don’t want to have one with someone
06:39
who doesn’t really want to have one.”
06:42
She’s determined to hold out for someone
06:44
who wants what she wants.
06:45
“I will spend the rest of my life
06:47
trying to make you feel the same way.”
06:49
So Monica is the character who most embodies
06:52
how important it is to stick to your guns,
06:54
be proactive, and never give up.
06:56
“I can’t just walk away — I’ve put in 4 hours!”
06:59
“But–”
07:00
“Look, you knew this about me when you married me!”
07:04
At the same time, the lesson Monica has to learn
07:07
is that life doesn’t work out exactly according to plan,
07:10
“Nothing about this is fair!
07:12
Nothing.
07:13
Nothing.
07:14
Nothing.”
07:15
no matter how hard you work or deserve it.
07:17
So it’s important to be flexible and not so rigid about
07:19
everything arriving in the exact package we initially wanted.
07:24
Because Monica learns to adapt,
07:26
in the end she’s rewarded
07:27
with everything she ever truly wanted,
07:29
even if it doesn’t come in the exact form she expected.
07:33
“Monica, we’re not ready to have two babies.”
07:36
“That doesn’t matter!
07:37
We’ve waited so long for this —
07:40
I don’t care if it’s two babies.
07:41
I don’t care if it’s three babies.
07:43
I don’t care if the entire cast of Eight Is Enough
07:46
comes out of there!”
07:47
She goes through every conceivable kind of weird job
07:50
that’s semi-related to her dream of being a chef.
07:52
She’s willing to try everything —
07:54
“Why would such a person stay in such a demeaning job
07:57
just because it’s remotely related to the field
08:00
they’re interested in?”
08:02
“Gee, I don’t know, Rach!”
08:05
and by the time she becomes successful in her career,
08:08
we’re happy for her because she’s really earned it.
08:10
“Can you believe it?
08:11
I finally get to
08:12
run my own kitchen.”
08:13
“Oh, you’ve waited so long.”
08:16
She’s a true romantic who’s always fantasized
08:18
about her perfect dream wedding.
08:20
“We dreamed about the perfect wedding.
08:22
In the perfect place.
08:25
With the perfect four-tiered wedding cake.
08:29
With the little people on top.”
08:32
And she ultimately does get that —
08:34
because she’s been patient and mature about
08:36
waiting until Chandler has grown into a place
08:39
where he really wants that, too.
08:41
And by this point Monica has also come far enough
08:43
to forgive imperfections in the day.
08:46
“You opened all the presents without me?
08:47
I thought we were supposed to do that together!”
08:49
“You kissed another woman!”
08:52
“Call it even?”
08:55
“Okay!”
08:56
After learning she and Chandler can’t conceive,
08:58
she gets on board with the idea of adoption
09:01
almost immediately.
09:02
“Adoption.”
09:03
“How do you feel about that?”
09:06
“Actually, I think I feel really good about it.”
09:09
And pretty soon she ends up the mother
09:10
of two beautiful babies.
09:13
So she’s still rigid about her big picture,
09:15
but she’s become patient and adaptable
09:17
about how to reach those goals,
09:19
and this gets her to her destination.
09:22
So finally, what lessons does Monica teach us
09:27
about how to be a great friend?
09:29
She shows us that we should take care of our friends
09:31
and be their champions.
09:32
“I am the energy train and you are on board!
09:36
Woo-woo!”
09:37
That being generous with the people we love
09:39
makes us feel good too,
09:41
“She’s clearly an Emma.”
09:42
“Oh, but you love that name!”
09:44
“Yeah.
09:45
I love you more.”
09:48
That a little resentment for friends or family can be natural,
09:51
“You love Ross more than me.”
09:53
but we should never let it overcome our love.
09:55
That’s there’s no shame in caring a lot about things.
09:59
And that we need to forgive our friends
10:01
if they sometimes take all of this top-notch friendship
10:04
for granted.
10:05
“Okay!
10:06
Three tons of potatoes coming in.”
10:08
Most of all Monica teaches that proactive, generous friendship
10:12
is a key ingredient in the recipe of our lives.
10:15
“Fine, judge all you want to.
10:17
But married a lesbian,
10:19
left a man at the altar, fell in love with a gay ice dancer,
10:20
threw a girl’s wooden leg in the fire, lived in a box!”
10:24
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10:26
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